Hi, my name is Glen Live. I’m 26 years old and I’ve entered the next stage in my life.
I’ve categorized my life into 7 segments, the last being the one I’m currently in. They would be in order:
The years of innocence, ages 1-6
The bullied years, ages 7-10/11
The bully years, ages 10/11-15
Finding myself, ages 15-19
Australia, ages 19-22
The mistakes and lessons, ages 22-25
Current, ages 25-
There’s no set amount of time that has to pass for the segment to change. Sometimes there’s a cataclysm like event that progresses the story forward, but it’s not a given. They tend to happen, when in my head I’m ready to move forward. When I take the next step on my path. I’m on this new road ever since I went back to school.
I’m going to entirely skip the innocent times, because there are stories there for another entry. What I am going to do is start from the second segment. Honestly, a lot of it is a blur. Some moments I can clearly remember, others are stories I’ve been told.. When I went to first grade, I knew nobody in my class since I had just moved. I was an ordinary, albeit a bit chubby kid, but nothing too distinctive or that’s what I thought. A few months later I would get glasses because of bad genes, that’s when everything changed.
Raise your hand if you have ever heard or said it yourself that kids are mean. I got to experience it myself first hand. I was the chubby/fat kid with glasses, who came from a lower-class family and had straight As. The only thing missing was the literal bulls-eye on my back. I was primed and ready for abuse, misfortune and all kinds of shit to fall in my way.
A clear memory I have from that time period is a game I used to play with my grandfather called Othello. Before we even started the first game, I got “crucial” information from my mom that she used to play it with him when she was a kid, but was never able to beat him, Even today as an adult, I don’t think she has ever won a game against him. For me it felt intimidating, but exhilarating at the same time. A chance to do better. As a kid, I wanted to do better than my mother. I played my heart out, as the table slowly turned white and I got my ass kicked.
I don’t know why it is that today everyone who participates gets a medal and there are no losers. Everyone is a winner and should feel proud about their accomplishments, be happy and complacent. None of that shit happens when it’s just you and the other guy. One of you will win and the other will lose, eventually the game will end. After that first game, I wanted more. I wanted my gramps to teach me the tricks of this game. How he thinks, when he plays it. How he makes his move, so I, too, could one day get a W on the board. The first important win for me, was when I finally beat my mom in the game.
When you’re playing against your kids or friends, and you’re clearly the best, do you always win or do you sometimes share the spotlight? Will you always play your hardest or will you let others enjoy winning as well? Most of us lose the drive and determination if we keep losing all the time. Why bother struggling, when your opponent is so much stronger, smarter, better than you? Why even try? Because when you do, that first and maybe even the only time you finally win, it will taste that much sweeter. I don’t exactly remember when or how, but I finally beat my grandfather. I know I did, because he always played to win. He never gave me an easy way out and I’m grateful for him because of that.
Thinking back at it now.. it was a meaningless victory, but for that little boy it meant a lot, at that very moment it meant everything. The losses, the struggle, the lessons learnt, they all meant something. If you don’t try, you will definitely never succeed, but if you keep at it then one day, maybe…