MacGyver in Australia

May 11, 2019 9:05 pm

How often have you faced a situation, where ordinary methods just don’t cut it? A moment, where your creativity to problem solving was, what saved the day? Inconvenience, lack of finances or whatever reason, your game was on point. You MacGyvered that problem.

One of my “proudest” moments was, when I “fixed” the White Saber’s windshield wipers. As IVAN wrote here, we got fucked hard. We spent a night sleeping on the beach, while some cunts vandalized the car and stole our shit. One night, when we needed to keep driving, it started to rain, so we had a decision to make. Either we go buy new windshield wipers from the petrol station or make the current broken ones work again.

Since we didn’t really have any money, my brilliance got to shine. I took all my extra USB, audio and video cables, tied them together, cut off the loose bits, connected them to the wipers and commence testing. The driver’s side window was already broken, so I just rolled mine down. Both grip ends were connected to the headset baggie to prevent slippage. In all honesty it worked like a charm until it didn’t. Two days later, when we had that big accident, where we almost died, it broke. Right before the crash, the driver’s side cable came loose and smacked IVAN in the face. He still claims that’s why he didn’t see the sharp turn sign.

Brilliance at work

Raise your hand if you’ve ever had a drink, that had stayed in a warm room for too long. Don’t be silly; put your hand back down. What if it had stayed in a warm car for too long, while there was 35 degrees outside? You had a case of Coca-Cola cans, ready for consumption, but they all taste imaginatively disgusting. Would you drink it? I know I sure did, but this one time I couldn’t. I wanted a cold beverage, and I was going to get it. By using the power of modern science and my genius brain, I duct taped the can to the roof of the car. After 15 minutes of driving, at 140 km/h per hour, I had a cold Coca-Cola and a brand new smile.

Don’t try this at home

Now a lot of them might involve cars, but that doesn’t mean they’re all success stories. The very first actual car I bought, was an old piece of shit we both paid half for. Five hundred dollars in total for a car, which brand I don’t even remember anymore. We knew that the car was fucked, but couldn’t really understand how far and beyond it had gone. That same evening we were able to drive to the city and back without a hitch. The next morning though, when we had to go to work it was a different story. The cunt didn’t want to start and just stalled the fuck out on us. I googled my ass off trying to figure out a way to get the bastard going, but to no avail. It was dead. Our first clue should’ve been the fact that the engine oil was silver gray, not black. Maybe that’s why I went to school to become a diagnostic?

Not a clue what I’m doing

Way down the line in Australia, when I was living with different people and IVAN was in one of his relationships, there was some brilliance. I had just moved from the hostel to a house, but the place needed furniture. It had two beds, a couch and a kitchen for five people. Clearly it wasn’t going to cut it, so we needed to get more stuff and fast. Since I had gotten my hands on an Australian driver’s license, I could rent a truck. Now we weren’t obviously going to buy the furniture, so we needed it for free. Luckily, they have a thing almost every week where a different suburb puts out all of their old shit, and at the end of the week a garbage truck takes it all away. The only thing left to do, was time it with a rich suburb and happy looting. If you went before the pick-up date, you could scavenge your entire furniture from there. Heck, you could probably even turn a profit. We got everything we needed, including two mattresses, couches, tables, TVs, chairs and our entire smoking room attire from it.

All of those wonderful memories, where resourcefulness has paid off with hefty extras. In times of need, use everything and everyone around you for help. Maximize all the steps you take and you’ll turn out a winner at the end of the day. Well… maybe not all the time, but sometimes lose, always win.


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