A lot has changed in a very short amount of time. In fact, the whole World itself has changed in a matter of weeks. I keep waking up, thinking that I’m stuck in a dream of sorts. Well, slapping some cold water on my face doesn’t seem to get me out of this one.
The crowds are cheering. Fireworks are going off as far as the eye can see. A new decade has just begun. Will it be better, than the last one? That depends of Your perspective. Personally for me though, 2019 was a hell of a journey. The personal progress I made, was, and still is, totally unfathomable to me. There were very few bad surprises and everything sort of played out as I’d planned it. But my 20/20 vision says, that this year’s gonna be the bomb. It’s time for me to put in the next gear and release that clutch. Life’s good, when Your gearbox is straight out of The Fast and The Furious franchise…
I used to have a friend who’d call me Hunan, more than human. It came from the idea that I’m always either at work or working on something. I’m not the type to laze around, because it’s boring and nothing is worse than boring. Even at work, sitting behind the table and “observing” cameras all day, I’d be writing, reading or watching things on YouTube. Multiple things happening on many different fronts. Maybe it only seems so, because I’m always talking about doing so many different things? Then again, I am only human.
I’ve always had this weird relationship with death. I’ve had so many near-death experiences, that it’s even hard to remember each and every one of them. The funny thing about all of them is, that I’m still very much alive. Sometimes it feels as if I have some sort of a protective shield around me. But then that begs the question of how long is that shield going to last? And why the fuck would someone or something even bother protecting me? Is it all just pure luck? Or is it something else?
We all have dreams. Dreams are these ideals that people strive towards. Or they can be just that – dreams. You’ll often find yourself thinking how and if things were different. And what you’d be doing if you won a million dollars. Why is it so hard to make dreams come true? Well. We are built to chase instant pleasures. Easy fixes. The hard truth is, that most people never achieve their dreams. You do your daily tasks, while thinking about a sunny beach in Hawaii. And before You know it, it’s time to go to bed and right back to work. You close Your eyes for a minute and boom – 10 years have passed and You’re not even a step closer to that beach. They’re called dreams, because they’re idealistic situations. Great safe zones to escape to in Your mind, while You’re getting ready for Your next boring pre-planned part of Your daily routine. Most of these dreams require You to get off Your ass and start putting in the work towards them. You can visualize that shit all day, but if You haven’t moved a muscle by the end of the day, that’s as close as You’re going to get to catching any of those dreams.
You know how they say, that opinions are like assholes, because everyone has them? Well I’m about to flash You mine big time. I realize, that I’m swimming against the tide with this post and most of the people don’t share my opinions, so this post needs to be taken with a grain of salt. If You end up offended, then that’s Your problem.
I’m sitting here on my ass, barely able to walk. So I’m going to take this time and be productive. To tell you the tale how I’m between numb and immeasurable amounts of pain. A story that started as something completely different and today, nine months later we have reached the apex. How I went from hating long distance running for 27 years to running a marathon with 3 months of training.
Men and women are built differently. Aside from all the obvious physical and psychological differences, I’ve come to find, that the biggest difference lies in the opportunities both are offered. When I was still a teenager, older people around me often pointed out, how girls mature faster than boys. “Oh look at the young flowers blossom”, as one of my high-school teachers always used to say. Every senior class about to graduate, heard that comment. Some girls secretly called him a pervert behind his back and most students felt awkward. But he was right. They were blossoming. They had grown up. They had reached the start of their fertile young adult lives. And that held true for every single one of them. This wasn’t the case with the boys. The boys were still blank sheets. Sure, some boys were bigger and stronger. Others were the school stars. But in reality, none of them were actual men. They were still boys. They hadn’t been out to the world. This is what separates men from women. Girls seem to blossom into fertile women in a very short timespan. That’s not the case with boys. Boys don’t really suddenly transform into men. Men are made. They are moulded by everything they see and touch. By every fucked up hardship, they go through. And by every single experience point, they gather in the field of life. While women are valued by their fertility, men are valued by their status. And a man can only acquire status by rolling the dice and taking risks.
It’s only fitting that this particular entry goes live on the 1st of May. On this day seven years ago we were given a second chance. To this day, it is by far the closest I’ve ever been to solving the mystery of “What happens after death?”
Do You believe in something? Or someone? Most people would start talking about their religion, when answering that question. Lots of people have always relied on religion to guide them through their hardships. And it’s fair enough. No one can blame them for looking for support in something higher than themselves. Probably makes them feel much better. I, myself, have never believed in anything closely religious in my life. All I’ve ever had, is faith in myself. That I can do this shit. Whatever life throws at me, I’ll deal with the consequences and move on. I can’t even tell exactly, how many times I’ve proven everyone (myself included) wrong and turned the tables, when everyone least expected it.