Rise of the Apes

This is a story of how one lifelong retard accidentally found his natural environment and stumbled into a heavily calculated and regulated sciency field – The Stock Market. A place where rational people grow their money by applying logic and smarts to their investments. A place that is also more corrupt than your everyday politics. In fact it might actually be the most corrupt scene in the World, as most people don’t know that they’re actively being ripped off. I’ve always pictured my future self as a millionaire. And so I had wanted to get into investing (crypto, stocks or currency) for years, but I’d always postpone my research because of it’s massive fucking learning curve. But this time was different – I had a nearly unlimited amount of time on my hands. And so I arrived there at a random moment in space and time, when a bunch of retards were gambling their life savings on one particular stock – GameStop ($GME). I’d heard bits and pieces of something big happening in the stock market a week or two earlier, but I’d sort of managed to miss the early train. Or so I thought…

Crabs in a Bucket

Imagine You’re a crab. And some 2-legged giant just caught You on a morning stroll and threw Your unsuspecting ass right into a bucket. You’re now in that bucket prison with a few other unlucky crabs. After listening to Your new crab-buddy Bob moan about his wife for a few hours, You’ve finally had it. All You’ve been thinking about is, if this is really how it ends for You. The more You listen to this idiot blabber about his problems, the more You realize, that You just can’t take this shit any longer. You’re a free individual after all. You’ve got so much better shit to do than this. You need to get the fuck outta there…

King of Nothing

Have You ever had to spend a thousand hours doing nothing? Just being there, by Yourself, simply existing. The beginning is the hardest. First You’ll be overwhelmed by the amount of freedom You have. Your mind starts to race. You desperately start looking for new ways to entertain Yourself. To keep Your mind busy. You find Yourself procrastinating – playing mobile games, watching random shows. That’s when Your character comes into play. You either succumb to the nothingness and become that slob, who just exists or You realize that You’ve been handed an amazing opportunity to develop Yourself even further. With a strong enough will, You will break out of that procrastination cycle and actually do something with Your time. Most people never do that. Most people just become those slobs…

The Incident

By now You’ve read our fucked up stories about how we used to drive around the great land down under using just our national ID-cards as driver’s licences. At one point, the situation became absolutely absurd for me. As You may recall, some evil cunt broke into The White Sabre and stole my passport, along with other things, such as GLive’s dirty underwear. From that moment on, I was in the country without any form of valid ID. The only thing I did have, was my Estonian ID-card, which only works as an ID in, well, yeah You guessed it – Estonia…

Rise of the Sluts

I’m from the last generation that remembers, what it was like before smart phones and the internet. Before technology took over, kids used to play outside all day. I was that kid, until computers consumed me too. These days I don’t see that many kids playing outside. They’re now either mastering the art of attention whoring on social media or playing games on their phones. I remember how people thought that the instant unlimited access to all of mankind’s knowledge would benefit everyone. That it would make everyone smarter. While it has given us some advantages, it’s also turned the average Jane and Joe into barely functioning zombies. They stopped developing themselves and started spending their time scrolling through their friends’ meaningless Facebook posts. Or sending out ‘likes’ to barely-clothed Insta-chicks.

Full Stop

A lot has changed in a very short amount of time. In fact, the whole World itself has changed in a matter of weeks. I keep waking up, thinking that I’m stuck in a dream of sorts. Well, slapping some cold water on my face doesn’t seem to get me out of this one. 

The Kiwi Experience

The crowds are cheering. Fireworks are going off as far as the eye can see. A new decade has just begun. Will it be better, than the last one? That depends of Your perspective. Personally for me though, 2019 was a hell of a journey. The personal progress I made, was, and still is, totally unfathomable to me. There were very few bad surprises and everything sort of played out as I’d planned it. But my 20/20 vision says, that this year’s gonna be the bomb. It’s time for me to put in the next gear and release that clutch. Life’s good, when Your gearbox is straight out of The Fast and The Furious franchise…


I’ve always had this weird relationship with death. I’ve had so many near-death experiences, that it’s even hard to remember each and every one of them. The funny thing about all of them is, that I’m still very much alive. Sometimes it feels as if I have some sort of a protective shield around me. But then that begs the question of how long is that shield going to last? And why the fuck would someone or something even bother protecting me? Is it all just pure luck? Or is it something else?

Land of the Long White Cloud

We all have dreams. Dreams are these ideals that people strive towards. Or they can be just that – dreams. You’ll often find yourself thinking how and if things were different. And what you’d be doing if you won a million dollars. Why is it so hard to make dreams come true? Well. We are built to chase instant pleasures. Easy fixes. The hard truth is, that most people never achieve their dreams. You do your daily tasks, while thinking about a sunny beach in Hawaii. And before You know it, it’s time to go to bed and right back to work. You close Your eyes for a minute and boom – 10 years have passed and You’re not even a step closer to that beach. They’re called dreams, because they’re idealistic situations. Great safe zones to escape to in Your mind, while You’re getting ready for Your next boring pre-planned part of Your daily routine. Most of these dreams require You to get off Your ass and start putting in the work towards them. You can visualize that shit all day, but if You haven’t moved a muscle by the end of the day, that’s as close as You’re going to get to catching any of those dreams.