Men and women are built differently. Aside from all the obvious physical and psychological differences, I’ve come to find, that the biggest difference lies in the opportunities both are offered. When I was still a teenager, older people around me often pointed out, how girls mature faster than boys. “Oh look at the young flowers blossom”, as one of my high-school teachers always used to say. Every senior class about to graduate, heard that comment. Some girls secretly called him a pervert behind his back and most students felt awkward. But he was right. They were blossoming. They had grown up. They had reached the start of their fertile young adult lives. And that held true for every single one of them. This wasn’t the case with the boys. The boys were still blank sheets. Sure, some boys were bigger and stronger. Others were the school stars. But in reality, none of them were actual men. They were still boys. They hadn’t been out to the world. This is what separates men from women. Girls seem to blossom into fertile women in a very short timespan. That’s not the case with boys. Boys don’t really suddenly transform into men. Men are made. They are moulded by everything they see and touch. By every fucked up hardship, they go through. And by every single experience point, they gather in the field of life. While women are valued by their fertility, men are valued by their status. And a man can only acquire status by rolling the dice and taking risks.
I was raised into the biggest bubble of lies, that a man could ever find himself in. That love is real. That love is something so pure, that You should sacrifice Your time, energy and money in order to chase it, catch it and then hold on to it with Your dear life. It was slowly coded into me by our whole society – the TV shows, the music, the social media and even by my own family and friends. It seemed like the norm since everyone around me seemed to religiously believe in the power of love as well. Deep down I felt like things weren’t quite right. Most people had these perfect public images while their actual body language seemed completely off. But hey, they kept assuring everyone, that marriage is the best thing ever and so the lie went on. After spending my whole youth living in that bubble of lies, I also began dreaming of finding that one special girl, marrying her and starting a nice little family of my own. Oh what a beautiful lie that is…
So I followed everyone’s lead. I acquired girlfriends, had sex, fell in love and then somehow got fucked over by those very same girlfriends. Even though I thought I was doing everything right, she still ended up kissing some random dude at a party. The society around me kept pushing me into thinking, that I’d done something wrong and I now had to fix it. So I tried even harder. I worked harder and acquired more currency. I then used my money to buy expensive gifts, because that’s what the magazine at the doctor’s office told me to do. It also told me to treat my girl with flowers every day and so I did. But for some reason the harder I tried, the more fucked over I got. The girlfriend ended up deleting all of our photos and put up some new sexy ones of herself or she had to go out with her girlfriends to get some ‘air’ in the clubs. That was usually followed by the most random arguments, which usually ended with me giving in and saying something along the lines of “You’re probably right, I’m probably over thinking everything and it’s probably my fault”.
I was completely clueless. Had no idea how to actually make things work. Why was I getting more fucked over every time? When I asked that question from some older men, they actually said that this was just how the world works. How the male-female relationship dynamics work. Those unlucky bastards… And so I just accepted that ‘reinforced truth’ and kept re-living that same old circle-jerk over and over again, until I was completely exhausted. At that point I just couldn’t be fucked any longer and called it quits. I told them, that I wanted to fuck other girls or something like that, but in reality I was just so fucking tired of all the bullshit and the arguments.
After returning home from Australia, I suddenly realized that I was a small-time celebrity in my country. People recognized me on the streets. Random girls greeted me on the streets. So I did, what any young ‘well-traveled’ dude would probably do. I went out with a few of them, fucked them and dumped them. It felt too good to be true. They seemed to want me even more, when I just wanted to fuck their brains out. Some flings lasted a week, others a month or two. That went on until I found myself back in a relationship. Rinse and repeat until the whole shit-show with X.
People around me kept warning me about X, but I chose to ignore them. I guess my charade with X was too much for even the most religious believers of love. I was happy in my little bubble. I’d been flying blind for so long, that I no longer realized, that I was fucking blind. I chose to ignore their wisdom every single time. Deep down I knew they were right though. I had to get my soul crushed by the biggest skank ever, to burst that pretty little bubble I was living in. Turns out it was exactly what I needed – a wake-up call so harsh, that I had to rebuild my whole identity.
I used to respect women. I really did. I had been taught to always open doors for women. To take care of them and be a true gentleman, as they say. And all of that got me exactly nowhere at all. In fact, the guys who never changed and stayed themselves, were the ones, who got these girls. It took me years of being nice and getting out of my own comfort zone personality-wise, to find out what I already knew. That respect is earned and respect is lost. It’s not to just be given away to anyone who demands it. I can’t respect anyone who hasn’t had to grind their ass off for their money or status. I can’t give out any respect to someone, who hasn’t earned it from me. And so it grinds my gears, when I hear another woman say that I should just respect them. Respect them for what exactly? Having a pussy?
After years of generally failing with women, I realized that I’d been forever handling my relationships by that same female-approved plan. What if everyone’s been wrong the whole time? What if men should generally just not give a single fuck about women or their feelings and just do their own thing regardless? I mean deep down I already didn’t give a shit. I had just been playing along for a very long time. What if I just started working for myself? What if I started operating on my own gut feelings? I’d be risking not getting laid for a long time, but then again pussy ain’t worth shit. My days are numbered and every day wasted on pleasing others, adds up to years lost on some trivial bullshit. When I started The Blog, I had just come out of another failed relationship cycle and so at that point I had nothing to lose. But by taking the risks and putting in the work, I had loads to gain.
So as I’ve been adopting this new mindset, I’ve been slowly working on myself. I’ve been taking the financial risks, trying lots of new things, approaching women and actually getting laid more than I thought I would be. I’ve now come to the point, where I’m asking myself, why would someone ever want to stop and be chained down by another person? Why wouldn’t You just keep going forward forever? I know why. Taking risks is a heavy burden. Failure may mean losing all your shit and most people are slaves to their own comfort zones. That’s where they fail. They should’ve never gotten comfortable. They should’ve just not given a fuck about failing and kept pushing forward. I’m not saying that they should be doing stupid shit. On the contrary – I believe every risk needs to be perfectly calculated to the point, where a failure can only come from bad luck. In the end, a failure can only bring a man down, if he lets it. I was supposed to have an alcohol-free year in 2019, but I only managed to stay 100% sober for 3 months. We all fail and it’s only natural. Sadly most men cling to their achieved level of comfort. These men fall the hardest, when the foundation gets destroyed – e.g. they lose their job. Men don’t usually get any free shit for having a dick. That means, they can only rely on themselves. They should always be covering their own ass for potential losses. They should stay completely indifferent to outside influences and be ready to cut their losses and move on. I know – easier said, than done. But that doesn’t make it any less true.
Today, I’m enjoying my life. I’d say, that the risks I’ve taken so far, have all paid off. And I don’t plan on stopping. I’m constantly working on bettering myself. It took me a while to get adjusted to my new mindset, but I feel like a young demigod. As if I own the land I walk on. Some people have asked me, if I ever feel lonely. I did in the beginning. But then I saw how being in a relationship had simply become a habit for me. A bad habit, that was hindering my life and needed to be broken. I kept replacing one relationship with another and truth be told, I always felt like I was letting other people feed on my life energy. So I broke the habit and formed a new one. I now embrace the single life. It has it’s benefits. I have more money, than I’ve ever had. So I’ve treated myself with different man-toys. I also sleep better than ever. No stress and no drama means I no longer let people feed off my life energy. I love being free to do whatever I want to. As Keanu Reeves once said: “Once You know how to take care of Yourself, company becomes an option and not a necessity”.
Maybe You remember, how I stated, that I was going to get some shit done for myself. So far I’ve pretty much cleaned up my eating regime. It’s nowhere near perfect, but I’ve developed a pretty strict eating schedule for myself. It’s pretty close to what I envisioned on that last post. I do eat pizza whenever I feel like it and I still drink occasionally, but I usually stay within my 3-drink limit. I’m still addicted to nicotine, although I’ve cut my usage by at least 50%. The important part is, that I’ve been going to the gym every other day to lift some heavy things. So that adds up to around 2-3x per week. My laziness has won some of my inner battles and I’ve skipped some (lots of) gym days, but my progress has been undeniable nevertheless. The real reason I go to the gym is the finnish sauna. There’s nothing, that could ever compare to jumping into the sauna after an intense workout session and then just amping the heat up right to the point, where You feel like You’re about to pass out. That’s Your que to get up and jump straight into an ice cold shower for 5-10 minutes. That shit makes You feel bulletproof. I remember stepping out of the gym in a -25°C winter and feeling like the weather wasn’t even that bad. Regular sauna sessions helped me survive this winter quite painlessly. My physical progress in these past 12 months has been pretty neat as well. I went from being ‘forever 69kg’ to weighing 80kg thanks to lifting and eating like an animal. That’s a number I’ve never seen on my scales before. I’m now in the best shape of my life.
As a side dish, I’ve learned to love all women. I now treat them like the children that they are. I have them cook dinner for me and reward them with lots of dick afterwards. They love it and I love it, although my neighbors don’t seem too thrilled. As it turned out, You can actually have too much of a good thing. There was a brief moment, when my personal growth stopped and I hit a plateau. I was stuck on 75/76kg for the whole winter. It happened because I was too busy scheming and chasing after more women. And then the plateau itself caused me depression, which in turn held me back. To fix my situation, I decided to dial that shit down and stick to more regular, yet commitment-free, relationships. My personal mission must always come first. I’m not doing all this shit just to bed loads of chicks. I’m planning on getting some more dreams of mine fulfilled. But my babes, if they so wish, are very welcome to join me on that journey.
Your true perils either make You or break You. My advice is simple – start setting goals for yourself. Take care of Your body and mind. Take calculated risks. Don’t be afraid to change Your whole mindset, if You have to. Approach that cute girl. Then approach another one. Visit that country, that You’ve always wanted to visit. Buy that car, You fantasize about. Do, what you actually want to be doing. If You can’t, then start working towards that goal. Learn from the mistakes of others, but always trust Your gut feelings. Don’t end up like one of those old farts, who regrets things they did or didn’t do. Live so, that You’ll die happy. I know I’m gonna…